Kayaking trip: father and son bonding in the computer age!

I have two sons, both of whom are ADDICTED to video games. My 14 year old has even cried when we have taken them away and said he hates everything else about life. Well, hearing that scared the crap out of me and my wife.

Additionally, my son has been doing typical teenage smart ass stuff, eye rolls and all. So it has been a little rough since he turned 13. It is not horrible but it is tough. Overall, he is a good kid and we love him to death. He does well in school, completes homework, and helps out with chores (but not without an argument about how stupid chores are).

So Easter 2018 weekend, I told my wife all I want for my upcoming birthday is to go Kayaking with her and the kids.

I was shocked when my 14 yo wanted to ride with me and surprisingly, we made great partners. I was so proud of him. He actually handled the turns and rapids really well for his first time. The whole trip he said, we have to come back and do this again. I felt so good and I felt like I got my son back. When he was younger we did everything together.  Needless to say this was the best birthday present ever!

When school got out in 2019, we found ourselves with the same battles and arguments. I saw an opportunity for just him and I to go kayaking again. And again it was really special. He really has a sense of adventure. It is so nice to share that with him. There are moments during any kayaking trip where there is a sense of danger, especially when seeing the on-coming rapids, rocks and debris. We work together to navigate it and shout out directives to each other. This is a great opportunity to bond but also to provide an example of how to deal with danger. I complimented him often and we teased each other some. There was a moment when he realized I am not such a bad guy. He joked back, saying that he has been doing the lion’s share of the rowing, with an obvious smile.

I could tell he needed to be in a real situation with me. So we can become accustomed to each other at a different stage in our lives. As adults, we take it for granted because we raised our kids from infants and we provide everything for them. Things that are obvious like meals but also things not so obvious like school applications, vaccinations and plane tickets etc, seem like magic to them; they just appear. What I am getting at here is that they don’t remember everything we have done for them and I think we have a tendency to demand respect and appreciation but they don’t remember all that little stuff. They need to rebuild the respect and connection, while we are placing more rigorous demands on them.

So being in semi-dangerous situations affords us the opportunity to build that connection and appreciate each other in a new context. I have found, just with these two trips, one was 3-4 hours and the other was over 6, that we came out of the river with much more love and respect for each other than before we went in. 

Another benefit of doing these trips is it is an opportunity to talk about other things and also share skills like survival skills that could potentially be needed. Whenever I go kayaking, I bring a couple of knives like, a Cold Steel Pro-lite folder or an Ontario Rat 1, which I keep on my person. I also bring other gear I keep in a dry bag as a backup. I also gave my son one of my knives to carry on him and gave him some simple instructions on how to use it and when he should use it. I discussed with him the potential of me getting hurt and what he would have to do. I made it fun to keep it from being another boring lecture. Kayaking also lends itself to a good life lesson, one of the things my son had trouble with was the importance of setting the right trajectory as you get to a bottle neck in the river. Since the water is moving fast and if you are on the wrong trajectory you could end up stuck on the rocks, flipped over, or eating a bunch of branches. 

I used this lesson to compare it to life and school work. While, schoolwork is boring and you want to wait until the last minute, sometimes that isn't enough and you could end up not getting into the college you want or missing an opportunity that you really wanted. I didn't drive in home hard but I did connect the dots.



Since kayaking is loved by everyone in the family, we  have decided that this is going to be one of our family activities and my wife and I discussed purchasing our own kayaks. We are also researching how to work out the transportation of them. 

Now, I feel like arguments and screaming matches are a cry for a new way of reconnecting and a new challenge rather than a downward spiral towards family disintegration.

Here’s to new hope!!!

6 reasons why the Mora Bushcraft Black is my number one favorite fixed blade.

1. Mora carbon steel takes a fine edge that can easily be brought back to shaving and I have found this to be reliable on all their knives I have owned. The other day I saw some rubber hanging below my car. So I grabbed my Bush Craft Black and started cutting the rubber. I kept trying to cut it but it wasn't budging. I looked at my knife in horror, and I realized the entire edge looked like a boxer's teeth, craggily AF. I checked the rubber and it had a steel core. I immediately went inside using only my ceramic rods and after a moderate amount of work, the edge was back to shaving sharp. Mora's carbon steel is one of the few knife companies I trust, so I keep coming back for more.

2. The handle is so comfortable. I can carve feather sticks for a long time with less fatigue than other knives. Plus the design of the grip really allows the knife to rest in a perfect position in my hand. Sometimes I just want to hold the knife because it feels so good.

3. The 90° spine is the sharpest of all my knives. I have used it countless times and it bites deep into the ferro rod giving me the most sparks of all my knives. It does have to be maintained with a stone every so often but it is still the sharpest out there.

4. It is lightweight. In a package that tics all the important boxes, like steel quality, comfort, usability, a good price, it is also lighter than other knives. Another benefit of it being lightweight is that when you have it on your belt you don't feel like it is dragging you down.

5. Another feature I like that is unique to Mora, is there is no ricasso, or choil, so you can get right up to the guard when cutting. Just to clarify, the ricasso on a knife is the space between the handle or guard, if the knife has one, and the cutting edge. The choil is a little (usually little) notch that allows you to sharpen the edge without the stone rubbing on the ricasso (see picture below). Sometimes people confuse the two and sometimes knifemakers enlarge the choil to allow for a finger to be placed there. It is really amazing how few knife companies do this. I find it makes sharpening easier and it provides more leverage for carving too. Also, the notch doesn't catch on things you are trying to cut. For a good article on choils click here .

6. Another great thing about Mora is they relatively low cost, which means you can get a great knife within your budget. That also means you can use it and not feel like you are destroying a family heirloom. They are a tool to be used not kept locked up for future generations. 

All of these great things about Mora also add up to making easier to having the knife on you when you need it. This week, there was a story of a 69 year old woman, who got separated from her husband while camping and was lost for 3 days in the wilderness without anything. Having a small fixed blade and a few other supplies on your belt, like a ferro rod and some cordage could have really helped her. She survived but was severely dehydrated and in need of hospitalization. It is a good reminder that having a few tools and a little knowledge on how to use them could make the world of difference. I would definitely recommend a Mora Bushcraft black for any hiker to carry into the woods, even for a day hike.